Some of you may know, because I harp on about it constantly, that I’m a big fan of science fiction author Becky Chambers.
In particular, A Psalm for the Wild-Built holds a special place in my heart, because it helped me through some tough times, and I thought I might take this opportunity to pass on two lessons that I got from this book to you. If these lessons speak to you also, great! If not, just pass them by. (I’ll include the synopsis of the book at the bottom for those who are interested).
Lesson One: An alternative to mindfulness
Both mindfulness and gratitude can be powerful tools for mental health, and for calming down that sympathetic nervous system. Mindfulness allows you to be more in the moment and less in rumination, and gratitude can help us focus on the aspects of our life that are positive, which is helpful for reducing stress and anxiety.
Where I struggle with both these concepts, however, is when I try to apply them throughout the day (as opposed to say meditation or journaling), because I inevitably start worrying that I’m not feeling gratitude correctly, or being mindful enough, and my anxiety around doing them correctly takes away from the benefits somewhat.
In the book the main character is a tea monk (basically a travelling therapist with tea) who works on behalf of the God of Small Comforts. Every time this character notices a small comfort, whether that’s the warm sun after being under shade, or soft blankets, they thank their god. By switching my efforts from trying to feel grateful ‘enough’ or mindful ‘enough’ to simply noticing and thinking ‘thank you’, I got around my perfectionist tendencies and was able to get the rewards of mindfulness in a way that I previously couldn’t.
Lesson 2: Remembering that I am a part of nature
In the book, the tea monk has many discussions with another character about purpose. This is a concept that many of us have struggled with. Our illness often means that our goals and ambitions have been put on hold and that we are often unable to show up in the ways that we want. It can be a tough blow to our feelings of self-worth. Here is an excerpt from one of their conversations:
(If this does not fit with your perspective of the world or your belief system, feel free to skip this part. I’m not trying to say that this is the way that you should be viewing the world. This is simply what works for me.)
“You’re an animal, Sibling Dex. You are not separate or other. You’re an animal. And animals have no purpose. Nothing has a purpose. The world simply is. If you want to do things that are meaningful to others, fine! Good! So do I! But if I wanted to crawl into a cave and watch stalagmites with Frostfrog for the remainder of my days, that would also be both fine and good. You keep asking why your work is not enough, and I don’t know how to answer that, because it is enough to exist in the world and marvel at it. You don’t need to justify that, or earn it. You are allowed to just live. That is all most animals do.“
When I’m too sick to leave my bed, I try to remember this. I try to remember that when I walk through the forest, I’m not judging trees for being stunted or growing ‘wrong’ or being bent over or covered in moss or fungus. I just accept the things around me for what they are. Likewise, I can accept myself as another part of nature and sit and watch the birds outside my window and marvel at them.
Synopsis
Centuries before, robots of Panga gained self-awareness, laid down their tools, wandered, en masse into the wilderness, never to be seen again. They faded into myth and urban legend.
Now the life of the tea monk who tells this story is upended by the arrival of a robot, there to honor the old promise of checking in. The robot cannot go back until the question of “what do people need?” is answered. But the answer to that question depends on who you ask, and how. They will need to ask it a lot. Chambers’ series asks: in a world where people have what they want, does having more matter?
