Some of you might recognise the name of this author – she is also the author of the last book I reviewed, How To Keep House While Drowning. Being a big fan of her last book, it seemed worthwhile to check this one out as well, despite being on quite different topics.
The book has three parts:
1. How to Work On Your Relationships
2. How to Make Decisions About Relationships
3. How to Use Boundaries to Have Better Relationships
This book is for any type of relationship – not just romantic. One thing that really stood out to me is that this book has concrete, practical exercises that you can use to help you decide whether a relationship is right for you.
For example:
– Davis separates out relationship harm into three categories – screwups, mistreatment and abuse – and explains the differences between them clearly.
– She has created a decision tree with questions like ‘is this person willing to work toward collaborative solutions that mitigate pain’ and ‘does staying in this relationship violate my values’. She explains each step clearly and provides examples of how you could use the tree.
– She provides examples of checklists that can help you to figure out if a new relationship is right for you or not.
She also explains how and why conflict occurs in relationships where both people are genuinely trying their best, and how to manage it.
KC Davis’ book is non-judgemental. She understands that there are many reasons as to why someone might stay in a less-than-perfect relationship. She provides the information, but it is up to you to use it the way that you see fit.