When living with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, the very idea that “the obstacle is the way” can sound misguided—if not downright offensive. After all, CFS is not a simple mindset issue or a hurdle to be “crushed.” It’s a complex, often misunderstood condition that affects every aspect of life: energy, identity, relationships, and even self-worth.
Yet, surprisingly, this book by Ryan Holiday—drawing from the ancient wisdom of the Stoic philosophers—has something quietly radical to offer.
Rather than pushing the tired notion of “mind over matter,” Holiday invites a deeper shift: a redefinition of what it means to live fully, with integrity and courage, within the limitations life has handed you.
He outlines three principles—Perception, Action, and Will
Perception: Seeing Clearly Beyond the Surface The Stoics taught that how we see our problems shapes how we live with them. For someone with CFS, perception is a powerful first frontier.
This isn’t about pretending you’re fine. It’s about noticing the stories you tell yourself:
– “I’m failing.” – “I’m broken.” – “I’ll never get better.”
Instead of blindly believing those, Holiday encourages us to pause, look again, and gently challenge the lens through which we view our situation.
“There is strength in choosing to see your reality—not through despair, but through clarity and courage.”
Action: Gentle, Aligned Effort is Still Noble One of the book’s greatest gifts to those with CFS is its redefinition of action. In a world that equates action with doing more, the Stoic path reminds us:
Right action is what is possible, wise, and meaningful in this moment.
For someone whose energy fluctuates, action might mean:
– Choosing rest over guilt. – Saying no with kindness. – Doing one small thing that matters.
“Progress isn’t always linear or visible—but if it’s aligned, it’s real.”
This honors quality over quantity—many with CFS have had to learn this the hard way.
Will: Resilience as Inner Softness, Not Struggle Perhaps the most resonant Stoic lesson for those with chronic illness is around will—not as brute endurance, but as the quiet strength to keep showing up for your life, even when it’s not going to plan.
Holiday redefines will as the power to:
– Accept uncertainty without giving up. – Adapt again and again. – Stay compassionate with yourself on hard days.
“Will is not pushing through—it’s standing kindly beside yourself when there’s no map.”
For anyone living with CFS, The Obstacle Is the Way is not a how-to manual. It’s a philosophical companion. It doesn’t dismiss your suffering—it respects it. And within that respect, it plants a seed of possibility: The obstacle isn’t in the way it is the way. To a deeper, richer more meaningful life.