Kia ora koutou,

Following our recent members meeting on neurodiversity, I’ve been reflecting on the idea of self-compassion — something that doesn’t always come naturally, especially when we’re navigating challenges or feeling like we’ve fallen short.

One key takeaway for me was how often we treat ourselves more harshly than we would ever treat a friend. Research reminds us that self-criticism triggers our brain’s threat system, while compassion activates our soothing system, helping us feel safe, calm, and connected. This shift is not just emotional but physiological — affecting how well our bodies can self-regulate and adapt.

An especially interesting piece of research explored how combining compassionate self-talk with looking at yourself in the mirror had a powerful effect: it improved mood, boosted feelings of common humanity (knowing we’re not alone in our struggles), and even positively influenced heart-rate variability, a marker of emotional resilience.

It might sound a bit awkward at first, but facing yourself with kindness in the mirror — especially after a tough moment — can really help disrupt the inner critic and build a more supportive internal voice.

If you’ve been feeling the weight of self-expectation, maybe this is something to gently explore. How would it feel to speak to yourself the way you speak to others? And what would it be like to see that compassion reflected back at you?

Ngā manaakitanga, Luisa